[6 min read]
In this article:
- Back-to-school time comes with a host of emotions that are processed differently by kids of different age groups.
- A supportive environment helps kids build resilience when facing back-to-school challenges.
- Parents should find healthy ways to process their own feelings.
- Essential guidance from a Providence Swedish behavioral health expert to help families healthfully manage school transitions.
We still have a few weeks of summer, but if you squint you can see back-to-school in the distance. Along with new backpacks, class schedules and routines, the back-to-school season can bring a mix of excitement, uncertainty and anxiety.
These feelings are common for children of all ages, from kindergarteners entering a classroom for the first time to college students leaving home. Parents might also experience their own emotions. It's normal to feel worry, pride, sadness or even loss as your kids grow up and become more independent.
"The good news is that anxiety about school transitions is normal," says Alex Chang, Ph.D., a psychologist at Providence Swedish South Lake Union Primary Care. "And with the right support, families can help children build confidence, resilience and healthy coping skills that last throughout the school year."
Dr. Chang shared some guidance to help you navigate back-to-school concerns with practical strategies for supporting your littles, as well as teens and young adults.
Helping your younger kids feel ready for school
Q: What can parents do in the weeks leading up to the first day of school to help younger children feel confident, excited and emotionally prepared for the transition back to the classroom?
A: It's completely normal for children to feel nervous about returning to school. One of the best ways parents can help is by focusing on the positive aspects of the school experience. Ask children what they enjoy most about school, such as seeing friends, participating in favorite activities, choice time or field trips. Highlighting these positive experiences can help balance feelings of uncertainty.
Parents can also involve children in back-to-school preparations. Allowing them to help choose school supplies, clothing or lunch items can create a sense of ownership and excitement. For specific worries, such as getting lost or making new friends, it can be helpful to talk through a plan together. Knowing what to do if a challenging situation arises can help children feel more prepared and reassured.
Supporting your anxious 'tweens and teens
Q: Many tweens and teens experience anxiety about academic performance, friendships, social media or fitting in. What are some signs that a student may be struggling, and how can parents start supportive conversations without seeming intrusive?
A: Adolescence can be an especially challenging time as young people work toward greater independence while navigating social and academic pressures. Warning signs of anxiety may include social withdrawal, increased irritability and trouble sleeping.
When concerns arise, parents should focus on listening rather than solving. Creating space for open conversations without immediately offering solutions helps teens feel heard and understood. Sharing your own experiences from adolescence can also be helpful. Talking about challenges you faced growing up may make difficult conversations feel less personal while showing your child that they are not alone in what they are experiencing.
Support and independence: a balancing act
Q: Whether a student is leaving home for the first time or returning to campus, how can parents strike the right balance between offering support and encouraging independence?
A: The key is to offer support rather than push it. Parents who repeatedly step in may unintentionally encourage young adults to pull away. Instead, let students know support is available whenever they need it while encouraging them to try solving problems on their own first.
Making mistakes is part of the learning process. A safe environment in which students can experience setbacks, learn lessons and develop their own solutions helps build confidence and independence that will serve them throughout life.
Homework for parents: process your emotions in healthy ways
Q: Back-to-school season can bring up a lot of emotions for parents, especially as children become more independent. How can parents recognize and process feelings such as sadness, worry, pride or loss while still supporting their child's growth?
A: Parents often experience a wide range of emotions as their children grow and become more self-sufficient. It's important to recognize that these feelings are normal. Setting aside time for self-reflection, hobbies and personal interests can help parents process these emotions in healthy ways.
Allowing children greater independence can be difficult, but it often creates opportunities to experience pride in their accomplishments. While every parent wants to protect their child, learning which mistakes are safe and provide valuable life lessons is an important part of parenting. For example, forgetting sunscreen once and experiencing a mild sunburn may teach a child a lesson that ultimately helps them become more responsible in the future.
Essential back-to-school do's and don'ts
Q: What are some key dos and don'ts for parents when helping children and teens navigate back-to-school stress, new routines and changing social dynamics?
A: Communication is one of the most important tools parents have. Children and teens are more likely to discuss their worries when they know they won't be judged or lectured.
Parents should establish routines before school begins, while remaining flexible when unexpected situations arise. Involving children in creating schedules can encourage independence and improve follow-through.
At the same time, parents should avoid trying to solve every problem. Sometimes children simply need a chance to express frustration. Asking, "Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?" can be surprisingly effective.
It's also important to expect some irritability as children adjust to homework, responsibilities and more structured schedules. When frustration is expressed in safe and non-harmful ways, staying calm and avoiding overreactions can prevent unnecessary power struggles.
Supporting your transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming kids
Q: For parents of transgender, nonbinary or gender-nonconforming children and teens who may feel anxious about returning to school, what are some practical ways to provide emotional support, advocate for their needs and help them feel safe and affirmed?
A: Every situation is unique, but research consistently shows that young people thrive when they feel loved, respected and accepted. Parents can support their children by listening, validating their experiences and following through when they promise to advocate on their behalf.
While some challenges may be outside a family's control, demonstrating consistent support helps children feel safe discussing concerns and asking for help when needed. Knowing that a trusted adult is in their corner can make a significant difference in a student's confidence and well-being.
Building resilience throughout the school year
Q: What habits or routines can families establish at the start of the school year that help children build resilience, manage stress and maintain good mental health throughout the year?
A: Consistency matters. Families benefit from routines that are realistic, manageable and include time for fun. Overscheduling can lead to stress and burnout, so it's important to make room for rest and recreation.
Parents can also encourage a "mastery mindset" rather than a results-focused mindset. While grades and achievements are important, school is also an opportunity to build life skills such as perseverance, problem-solving and responsibility. Learning how to tackle difficult tasks, manage time and bounce back from setbacks are lessons that can be just as valuable as academic success.
A last word before the bell
Back-to-school anxiety is a normal part of growing up, and it can affect students and parents alike. By maintaining open communication, creating supportive routines and allowing children opportunities to learn through experience, families can help reduce stress and build confidence. With patience, flexibility and connection, the start of a new school year can become an opportunity for growth, resilience and success.
Learn more and find a physician or advanced practice clinician (APC)
If you or someone you love needs mental health support, our caring experts at Providence Swedish Behavioral Health can help. Visit our website to find care near you.
Do you have questions or concerns about your child’s wellness? Swedish Pediatrics is here to help. Call today to schedule a visit.
If you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually for your health concern, Providence Swedish is here for you. Contact Swedish Primary Care to schedule an appointment with a primary care physician. You can also connect virtually with your doctor to review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. And with Swedish ExpressCare Virtual, you can receive treatment in minutes for common conditions such as colds, flu, urinary tract infections and more. You can use our provider directory to find a specialist or primary care physician near you.
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This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions.
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