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One in three adults in the U.S. feels lonely, and one in four feels they lack emotional or social support. If you’re among the millions struggling with this lack of connection to others, it could be affecting your health, according to the CDC.
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Loneliness has been characterized as an epidemic by the U.S. Surgeon General and other experts.
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A Swedish behavioral health expert discusses loneliness and shares tips for making small changes that can have a big impact on how connected you feel to the people in your life.
It may sound like a contradiction, but statistics show it’s true. If you’re lonely, you’re in good company. And it could be affecting your health.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), roughly one in three adults in the United States report feeling lonely. About one in four feel they don’t have any emotional or social support. All of them have an increased risk of health issues.
Research shows loneliness can increase your risk of:
- Heart disease and stroke
- Type 2 diabetes
- Depression and anxiety
- Thoughts of suicide and self-harm
- Dementia
- Earlier death
Loneliness is a feeling, which makes it difficult to describe in general terms. The dictionary definition says loneliness is “being without company.” But anyone who’s ever felt alone while sitting in a crowded room knows loneliness is about more than being in close physical proximity to others.
We talked to Swedish behavioral health expert John Delfeld, LICSW, about identifying loneliness, its impact on our health and steps we can take to feel more connected. Here’s what he shared.
Defining loneliness
“Loneliness is subjective. It’s a feeling where there’s a gap between how connected we need to be and how we actually feel,” says Delfeld.
“Loneliness doesn’t look the same for everyone,” says Delfeld. “Different people have different needs when it comes to social interaction and connection to others. Some people recharge in social settings, while others may feel drained in those same settings and need time alone to recover. Just because someone spends time alone doesn’t mean they’re lonely, just like being around people doesn’t automatically mean they feel connected.”
Loneliness often includes:
- Feeling like you don’t belong.
- Feeling left out when you want to be included.
- Feeling that no one understands what it’s like to be you.
- Feeling alone with your problems, like there’s no one to talk to.
- Feeling like everyone is having fun and you’re missing out.
- Feeling like you don’t have the motivation or energy to be with others.
Although loneliness doesn’t always have a definitive cause, the National Institute on Aging reports that certain factors may increase one’s risk of feeling isolated and alone.
These include:
- Mobility issues.
- Vision or hearing issues.
- Depression.
- Psychological or cognitive challenges.
- Financial difficulties.
- Significant life change, such as the death of a spouse, loss of employment, or retirement.
- Lack of social support.
- Separation or estrangement from family.
- Isolation associated with living in a rural, unsafe or hard-to-reach neighborhood.
“The core issue is whether we feel meaningfully connected to others,” says Delfeld. “Do we have relationships that matter and are reliable when we need them?”
Small changes, big impact
Improving your loneliness doesn’t always mean making major alterations to your lifestyle. Minor changes made consistently can have a substantial effect on how lonely you feel.
These tips from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) can help you get started:
- Schedule time each day to reach out to another person. Face to face interactions are best for most people yet can be scary. FaceTime, phone, text or email are also accessible, convenient ways to increase your contact with others.
- Introduce yourself to your neighbors.
- Invite a friend or acquaintance to go for a walk.
- Find a new hobby or restart an activity you used to enjoy.
- Sign up for a class at your local library, community center or senior center. Taking a class not only introduces you to new things but also helps you find new friends to enjoy them with.
- Volunteer in your community.
- Some faith communities offer home visits to people who have a hard time leaving the house.
- Adopt a pet if you can care for one. Pets are great stress relievers but can also create opportunities for human interaction when on walks, at the park, etc.
“People often feel compelled to make dramatic changes, like joining multiple community groups or drastically altering their schedule overnight. But these efforts – similar to overly ambitious New Year’s resolutions – can sometimes be unsustainable,” says Delfeld.
“Sometimes spending time with a couple of familiar people or having simple interactions with others in public spaces can positively impact your sense of connection. Part of the solution can be small, simple actions like chatting with a neighbor or going for a walk and greeting people you meet along the way,” he adds.
“If you are trying to make changes in your life, be kind to yourself and know that you may not feel better right away. Try not to get discouraged and keep at it, focusing on the overall goal rather than what you did or didn’t do that day,” says Delfeld.
Social media
“Social media can be both helpful and harmful. It helps some people stay connected, like grandparents staying in touch with grandkids, people with neurodiversity, those living in remote communities or those without a local source of support for their identity. Others might find that they feel lonelier after spending a long time scrolling through social media,” says Delfeld.
Be mindful of how social media can negatively impact your mental health, specifically if it:
- Leads people to spend large amounts of time being physically inactive
- Causes a person to compare their lives with what they’re seeing in their feeds
- Increases anxiety about missing updates or responses to their posts
- Makes them feel more isolated if it crowds out opportunities for connection in the real world
- Intrudes on responsibilities and activities,
- Becomes a source of bullying, particularly for teens
“Use social media in a healthy way – as a tool to connect meaningfully, not to passively consume content,” he adds. “The question I would ask myself is this: does my social media use lead to real human engagement, or does it deepen the sense of disconnection and loneliness? If it’s the latter, it might be time to consider taking a break or making some changes.”
Learn more and find a physician or advanced practice clinician (APC)
While it’s part of the normal human experience to feel lonely from time to time, if you are feeling this way a lot or it’s causing you distress, and you’re having difficulty resolving these feelings, it may signal the need to talk with a professional for help.
If you have questions about behavioral health services, Swedish is here for you. Contact Swedish Behavioral Health and Well-Being. We can accommodate both in-person and virtual visits.
Whether you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually, you have options. Contact Swedish Primary Care to schedule an appointment with a primary care physician. You can also connect virtually with your doctor to review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. And with Swedish ExpressCare Virtual, you can receive treatment in minutes for common conditions such as colds, flu, urinary tract infections and more. You can use our provider directory to find a specialist or primary care physician near you.
Information for patients and visitors
Related resources
988, the free national mental health hotline, has connected with millions in crisis
Access to mental health care is a key to helping every community flourish
Coping with PTSD: Symptoms, causes and treatments
This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions.
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