In this article:
- In an an American Psychological Association survey, 75% of the students who participated indicated feeling significant stress about returning to school.
- Kids may worry about a host of issues, including new social situations, new activities and gun violence, all of which can increase stress levels as school approaches.
- A Swedish medical social worker explains that helping kids navigate these fears requires an age-appropriate approach.
Come August, the carefree summer days by the pool, at the playground or even camped in front of the TV are due to end soon for school-age kids. Many happily await the opportunity to see their friends again every day or to meet the cool new teacher they’ve heard about. Others, though, may grow more stressed as the first day of school inches closer.
If your child falls into this second category, they aren’t alone. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one-third — 32% — of teens experience some type of anxiety. This anxiety can present in a number of ways, including school avoidance. A recent study released by The Kids Mental Health Foundation revealed that nearly a third of parents (30%) surveyed have a child who missed school due to fear or anxiety
Along with classwork there are plenty of things going on in the world that can weigh on kids' minds. To help you and your child address these anxieties, we talked with Swedish medical social worker Kelly Barton, MPH, LICSW, about what your child might be feeling and how you can tackle these problems together.
“For many kids, anxiety builds around doing things they haven’t done before. With new things, they’re kind of blazing a trail. That can feel scary and overwhelming at times,” she says. “The best way to overcome that is to face it. As soon as we give ourselves the chance to experience the unknown, it becomes the known.”
Talking about the reality of gun violence
More than half of teens say they worry about gun violence at their school. To help your child, it’s important to get a good idea of what they’re thinking. Sometimes kids aren’t ready to have an in-depth discussion, Barton says, and that’s OK.
“The idea of school shootings can be really overwhelming, and many teens just aren’t ready for lengthy conversations yet,” she says. “Still, it’s good to reach out and hear from them what’s on their mind. Find out what they’ve heard and what they’ve been exposed to.”
If the topic really upsets your child when you talk, you can suggest:
- Taking several deep breaths
- Drinking a glass of water
- Holding an ice cube in their hands during the conversation to help stay present in the moment
It’s also important to identify people within the school — teachers or counselors — that your child trusts and can talk to during the school day when they feel anxious.
Younger children may be more uncomfortable with active shooter drills. If that’s the case, Barton says, you may need to use a different approach called reflective listening. Ask them what happened during the drill, how it made them feel and what they thought about the experience. Be aware that sometimes letting your child talk is all you need to do.
“As parents, we feel pressure to explain everything, and your child may not be looking for that,” she says. “They may very well just want to share what they’re thinking at that moment, and then they’re on to something else. Don’t overthink or overanalyze — just hear them out.”
Finding support as parents
When your child feels anxious, it’s easy, as a parent, to take on those same feelings. That isn’t always helpful, and it can significantly increase your own anxiety level. Fortunately, Barton says, there are things you can do to minimize your stress, as well.
“Don’t borrow trouble,” Barton says. “You don’t want to add more to your plate than is necessary.”
If you find yourself worrying most of the time, these steps can help:
Talk to the school about existing safety protocols.
Reach out to other parents to talk about your concerns.
Practice self-care, such as mindful meditation.
You can also set aside some “worry time,” Barton says. For 15 to 20 minutes, let yourself focus on everything that bothers you.
“This is a time where we can honor our concerns and see if there’s an action plan we can form around them,” she says. “It’s a time to identify the things that are within our control, diffuse those issues and then give our brains a break.”
Learn more and find a physician or advanced practice clinician (APC)
If you are looking for help managing holiday stress or learning to deal with holiday stress, support is available at Providence Swedish Behavioral Health. Whether you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually, you have options. You can also connect virtually with your provider to review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. And with Swedish ExpressCare Virtual you can receive treatment in minutes for common conditions such as colds, flu, urinary tract infections, and more. You can use our provider directory to find a specialist or primary care physician near you.
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This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your healthcare professional's instructions.
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